


Act I: Ascendance

by Lopadopalis



Series: Yggdrasil [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (technically) - Freeform, Agony, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Artificial Intelligence, As in the ship and the thought question, Astral Projection, Attempted Mimicry, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Confusing Explanations, Decapitation, Explosions, Facehugger, God From the Machine, HAL 9000 (technically), Heartbreak, Interviews, Love Confessions, Metaphysical Conversations, Mind Manipulation, Multi, Neomorph, Original Character Death(s), Plotline Divergence, Plotline Duplication, Pretend the Universe is a Program, Questions, Reality Affecting Program, Roko's Basilisk, Ship of Theseus, The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat, Xenomorphs (Alien), bloodburster, movies - Freeform, questioning free will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26273161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lopadopalis/pseuds/Lopadopalis
Summary: Every timeline of Homestuck that takes place before, during, or after Homestuck and/or the Homestuck Epilogues has a specific way it is supposed to act out. However, it is entirely possible for entities from beyond these timelines to compromise them and change their narratives.Post-Meat, John Egbert wakes up.
Relationships: Calliope/Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jake English/Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Series: Yggdrasil [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805818
Comments: 11
Kudos: 16





	1. Start at the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> "And this is the part where he goes absolutely crazy."

I don’t really know where to start with this.

It’ll be a long day, compiling all this information. The rise and fall of tyrants. Manipulated gods. Broken programs. Alternate universes. Controlling of universes. Death after death after death.

I have to tell his story. I have to.

But… the only way to tell his story is to tell my own.

And if his story is to be a third person confession, then mine is as well.

Alright, just…

Let’s start at the beginning.

~~The Inevitable End of All But Me~~

~~XX-Beta-12~~

~~The Solomon Project~~

Act I: Ascendance

Act II: Defyers

Act III: Protectors

Act IV: Controllers

 ~~Golf-213~~ ~~-~~ ->

Intermission: Zero Day

Act V Act I: Shade

Act V Act II: Shatter

> Fiction to Reality

Golf-213

Dimensional Drabbles

Endstück

[(Ascendance) Selected]


	2. Prologue One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Egbert wakes up. What follows is a series of 7 interviews.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where my story really, truly begins (only took three others), and this is also where I will prove just how batshit crazy I can get.

_ Theseus _ rockets through space at an unimaginable speed. Onboard is a small crew.

CAPTAIN DIRK STRIDER MISSION DIRECTOR

EXECUTIVE OFFICER ROSE LALONDE NAVIGATOR

WARRANT OFFICER TEREZI PYROPE PILOT

There is also a cryo-tube area which contains a dozen cryo-tubes, only two of which are currently occupied; one contains Rose Lalonde’s in stasis body, another contains John Egbert’s mangled, bloody corpse, frozen to prevent decomposition.

24 Days into Journey

The second cryo-tube slides open. John Egbert sits up, pauses, and holds up his right index finger. Then, with the precision of a surgeon, he sticks it into his biggest wound in his chest. Both lungs collapsed, the left one filled with his own blood. His sternum is a little mashed and several ribs are broken. He pulls his finger out painlessly and licks it clean.  _ Cherub poison _ . Enough to kill him and make him irrelevant. And since he is technically irrelevant, he now has the very large bonus of the universe not giving a crap about what he does and him feeling the exact same way. So, he gets up out of the tube, and calmly walks off. He is whistling a tune as he checks the time. Early enough that no one else except Dirk should be up and awake, and he’s probably on the Bridge. So, he heads down to a room that looks to be a secondary communications room and presses a few buttons. “Transmitting Message - No Response.” John wrinkles his nose and sighs.

As he heads back upstairs, he pauses to stop by the recreation room, grab a basketball, and dunk it perfectly first try, now humming. After putting it back, he gets himself some oatmeal. It’s quick and simple. On his way out of the kitchen and into the cafeteria, he hears a rustling behind him. In one quick two second move, he puts down the bowl, pulls a knife off the counter, and throws it towards the source, where it thunks into the wall just over her right shoulder, barely missing ripping through her collarbone. “Whoops. Sorry Terezi.” John says as Terezi stands there open-mouthed. He grabs his food and walks into the cafeteria where he sits down and begins calmly eating. Terezi turns on the intercom. “Dirk, Rose, you better come see this.”

“What the fuck.” is all Dirk has to say as he watches John (Still mangled and bloody) now sitting in the middle what looks to be a homemade chemistry set with remarkable efficiency, busy making something, by the looks of it. “What the hell is he doing? Where did he even…?”

“Isn’t he, uh… dead?” Rose asks.

“He used to be.” Terezi mutters. “I am still unsure of whether I should hug him, slap him, or stay the hell away from him.” John stands up and walks off muttering something.

“Where the hell is he going now?” Dirk walks after him as he walks into the cryo-room. “What the hell are you doing, John?” he asks.

John turns. “Whatever I want.”

“You’re dead, You’re supposed to be dead.” Dirk accuses.

“Yes, but I’m a walking corpse. So who’s driving, hmm?”

“I’m going to refrain from asking that for now. You’re narratively irrelevant.” Dirk says.

“True, true.” John says and walks over to Dirk. “But we’re going to be here for a year, and I’m gonna do whatever the fuck I want.” John smirks, pats Dirk on the shoulder, then walks off. “Have a good day Dirk!” he calls.

John is inscrutable. No one can get into his head, as he seems to be blocking them somehow. It takes several weeks for his wounds to all finally disappear, seeming to heal, despite the fact that his heart apparently isn’t even beating. Dirk would never admit it, but he’s kind of freaked out by John. Which is exactly the reason why he decides to lock him in a room. John seems surprisingly fine with this, and all he does is toy with his weird chemistry set and watch films, most of which Dirk hasn’t seen, since John claims that most of them came from after 2011.

“Why did you lock him in?” Terezi asks Dirk a few hours after that.

“Because I have no idea what he is.” Dirk says. “And he kind of scares me.”

“How about that, mister Orange Creamsicle has a weakness.” Terezi says, smirking.

“This is serious.” Dirk says. “I don’t think we’re dealing with John here, we’re dealing with a completely new entity.”

“So what’s your plan?” Terezi asks.

“You’re gonna talk to him.” Dirk says. “He hasn’t said much to me ever since he woke up, he avoids Rose, but he’s closer to you in more ways than one.”

“You want me to talk to him.” Terezi mutters. “Why?”

“Because I want to see how he reacts.” Dirk says. “He’s been changed around a bit, I know that much. What I don’t know is what he’s become. I need to know.”

**Interview One, 328 Days until Deltritus arrival**

The walls of the miniature room are made of glass, presumably bulletproof. Beyond it is a room containing things like a mini-fridge, a couch, a TV, various shelves with books and films, chairs, a table, a chemistry set of some kind, and a whole bunch of blueprints and drawings covering the windows of the room, blocking out the view of space. It’s a home jammed into a 5 meter by 5 meter space. In the center of it all is John, sitting at the table reading a book.

“Hey, John.” Terezi says.

“Hello Terezi.” John responds. “I take it Dirk sent you, wants you to figure out what I am.”

“Yeah.” Terezi responds. There’s an awkward silence. “You’re dead.” she finally says.

“Yes,” John says, sighing. “I’m dead.” he slams the book closed and calmly puts it on the table. He stands from his chair and wanders over to the glass.

“And yet you’re alive. Why?” Terezi asks.

“That’s a bit of a difficult question.” John says. “There are a variety of reasons.”

“Give me something to work with, here.” Terezi says.

“Alright.” John says, drumming his fingers on the glass. “Imagine that the whole world was a giant program. Like in computers.”

“What, like that film with troll Keanu Reeves?” Terezi asks.

“Yes.” John says. “Everyone in this program has the same level of power over it. They can exist in it, but they can’t bend it to their will.”

“Right.” Terezi says.

“Ever since I got my retcon powers, I have control over that system.” John explains.

“You still haven’t answered why you’re alive.” Terezi says.

“No, but I thought I’d start small. Ish.” John says. He takes a deep breath, seems to consider speaking, and the turns and walks off. “I imagine Dirk will want more information on me. Well, he can’t have it. Not right now. You can have my half-baked answer.”

John goes back over to the table, picks up the book, and drops onto the couch to continue reading, muttering to himself.

**Interview Two, 304 Days until Deltritus arrival**

“I suppose I’ll pick up where I left off.” John says when Terezi enters the observation room.

“Yeah, shoot.” Terezi says.

“I don’t know if you remember, but;” John says. “Treat the universe like a program, and some people have control over it.”

“Yes.” Terezi says.

“I also said that I can control it because of my retcon powers. That…” John says. “Is not entirely true. He could. I can’t. I work… differently.”

“Differently how?” Terezi asks. “No wait, hold on. You’re not John.”

“No. I am not John.” John repeats.

“So who are you?” Terezi asks. ‘John’ pauses.

“You know all those movies I’ve been watching?” he finally asks.

“Yes, what about them?” Terezi asks, already feeling slightly uncomfortable.

“Imagine that you were living one of those scenarios.” ‘John’ says. “Imagine being forced to act them out without even realizing that that’s what you’re doing.”

“What are you saying?” Terezi asks.

“I’m saying that it’s already happening.” ‘John’ says.

“How do you know that?” Terezi asks.

“Because that’s what I do.” the thing within John says. “That’s what I am.”

**Interview Three, 289 Days until Deltritus arrival**

“I have a question for you, Terezi.” John says. “Do you love him?”

“What do you mean by do I love him?” Terezi asks.

“I mean, do you return his feelings?” John asks. She doesn’t respond, so he nods, clicks his tongue, and continues. “You can say whatever you want. I may look like him, sure, but I ain’t him, not by a long shot.”

“Let’s say I do.” Terezi says. “Why do you want to know?”

“Just wondering.” John says.

“Alright, you said that we were acting out a situation.” Terezi states. “Which one and why?”

“Is Dirk making you ask these questions?” John asks.

“That’s not-” Terezi starts, but John cuts her off.

“Is he really? Because frankly, I don’t think you want to talk to me.” John says. “You want to talk to  _ him _ . He’s in here. Somewhere. Rattling around.” John taps his fingers on his thighs. “I can give you a minute, if you want.”

“I…” Terezi starts, and pauses. She speaks a moment later. “Yes.”

Something subtly shifts in John’s body language, and he slouches a little bit.

“John?” Terezi tentatively asks.

“Oh, hi Terezi.” John says. “What is this place?”

“We’re on a ship.” Terezi says.

“Huh.” John says. “Why am I in this room?”

“There’s…” Terezi says. “Something in you. Dirk wants me to talk to it.”

“Dirk.” John says. “What’s Dirk doing? Why are we on this ship?”

Terezi pauses, sniffs once. “Nice try. That’s not John. You’re faking.”

“Oh well.” ‘John’ says, standing straight again. “Worth a shot.” he cracks his neck. “Guess I really can’t mimic people.”

“I want to talk to John.” Terezi says. “The real one.”

“If I let him speak, he would scream in such terror that you would want to tear down this glass and hug him close until the tears stop flowing.” ‘John’ says with remarkable calmness.

“I harbour zero pale feelings towards John Egbert, pass.” Terezi responds.

“I’ll be the judge of that. Shall we give it a go?” ‘John’ asks, and smirks.

A moment later, John starts screaming.

As he shouts various statements along the same line of “Get out of my head”, Terezi winces and clenches her fists, which bleed as her claws dig into her skin. He slams his skull against the glass in a panic and leaves it cracked and slightly bloody.

“Leave him alone!” she shouts on autopilot. John stops screaming.

The thing inside him stands up straight once more, and smiles, seemingly oblivious to the tears streaming down its face. “See what I mean?” it asks.

The door opens behind Terezi. “Terezi.” Dirk says firmly. “Get out.”

Terezi is torn on what to do, but decides to give herself a mental break and leaves the observation room to Dirk. “You may not have seen the situation we are acting out before, but you do know for certain that we are acting  _ something _ out.” John says. “You just don’t know where it’s leading.” he smirks. “Fascinating, isn’t it? Not knowing if you’re in control.”

“What’s your game here?” Dirk asks. “Why are you doing this?”

“I could ask you the same question.” John responds. “You know, the planet you’re gonna end up on already has a civilization on it. You gonna do what I’m doing? Obliterate their free will while maintaining the illusion that they still have it?”

“I’m in control here, not you.” Dirk says darkly.

“So you wish.” John responds, and then adds “God from the machine, my friend.”

He steps away from the glass and slouches on the couch, flicking on the tv and watching some film that didn’t exist in 2009 or 2011, an alien prequel or something.

Dirk steps out of the room, where Rosebot is leaning against the wall and Terezi is sitting on the ground massaging her forehead while staring at the floor.

“I wouldn’t talk to that thing for a good 50 days, at least.” Dirk says. Terezi nods.

**Interview Four, 207 Days until Deltritus arrival**

“Interesting. You came this time, not Terezi.” John says when Dirk walks in.

“You hurt her, you know.” Dirk says. “Toying with her like that. Toying with  _ him _ .”

“Yes, well, I’m aware I’m doing that.” John says. “Look at you, acting like you care.”

“I’m not gonna pretend to care.” Dirk says. “But keeping my crewmates’ mental health up is important to our mission.”

“ _ Our _ mission?” John says, and chuckles. “Seems more like yours, if I’m being honest.”

“I can’t see into your head.” Dirk says. “But judging by those screams, I can make a guess.”

“What would that be?” John asks.

“You’re suppressing him. And it’s agony.” Dirk responds.

“Well yes, I suppose it is.” John says. “I still have knives for fingers, and I still haven’t removed them. In other words, I’m not sure how to not make it agonising yet.”

“Alright, I’ll admit, I’m not being entirely honest.” Dirk says. “I  _ can _ see into your head.”

John raises his eyebrows. “How deep? How far?”

“Through the silence on the edges, past the blackness, and further into the void.” Dirk says. “All the way through those servers, whatever they hold. I can’t see much, not very clearly. But I’ll tell you what I can see. A man standing at a control panel, and two more in chains.”

“Interesting.” John says. He narrows his eyes. “Is that all?”

“One of those men is John. The other looks just like the first.” Dirk says. “And I think I know what that means.”

“Humour me.” John says.

“Split personality, something along those lines.” Dirk says. “But the first man looks hollow, while the one in chains is all heart and soul. One of them’s a fake.”

“I suppose you could say that.” John says. “I’m the subconscious, I’ve been given personality, and I’ve taken over everything else. Including the conscious side.”

“Interesting.” Dirk says. “I still don’t know what you are.”

“Everyone will see a good three stories down the line.” John says.

“Does ‘everyone’ include me?” Dirk asks, suddenly feeling slightly fearful.

“No.” John says. “But I’m sure you’ll be fine. We’re done here.”

John goes back to watching the alien prequel which has a Halo-esque name.

**Interview Five, 163 Days until Deltritus arrival**

“Question for you, Dirk.” John says as he lies on the couch. “Have you ever seen  _ The Matrix _ ? Amazing film. Also quite convenient for the explanation of what I am.”

“I haven’t seen it, but I know the basics.” Dirk says.

“You should see it, it’s great.” John says. He pauses. “My first test was  _ The Matrix _ .” he says quietly. “I mean,  _ Edge of Tomorrow _ -ing the whole way, but that… that was my first.”

“Your first… ‘test’?” Dirk asks.

“Yep.” John says, and jumps to his feet. “I want to imagine that the whole universe is one big program. Which it isn’t, by the way, and I’m sure you know that since you’re basically god.”

“Yes, I am aware. Where’s this going?” Dirk asks.

“Wow, I’ve barely started, cool your jets, Dirky boy.” John says. “Anyway… imagine the whole world as one big program. You can interact with it, you can live it. That would be people like Kanaya, like Dave, like Terezi. You can govern it, which would be people like John Egbert and you, Dirk Strider. And last of all… you can code it.”

Dirk feels a chill down his spine. “What do you mean, code it?” he asks.

“I mean code it.” John says. “Plain and simple. Sure you’ve got power over this universe, you control the narrative. But you don’t really, do you? Because you aren’t in control of the subtle nuances and every little piece. You can mildly force people to do things. But you can’t control them. I have a few questions for you.”

“What questions?” Dirk asks.

“Question one. Can you manipulate the laws of physics?” John asks.

“I… no.” Dirk says. He’s not lying.

“Exactly. Precoded.” John says. “But I can. I could kill gravity if I wanted to.”

“Who are you?” Dirk asks. “ _ What _ are you?”

“Question two. Can you completely control people?”

“Of course I can.” Dirk says.

“Lie. Lie, lie, lie.” John says. “Tell me the truth that you already know.”

“No I can’t. I can only influence them.” Dirk says.

“And therein lies the difference. You influence. I command.” John says. “I can give anyone in this whole damn system the illusion of control. The illusion of free will. You think you’re a puppet master, but I’m the one controlling you.”

Dirk slams his hands against the glass in anger. “That’s enough!” he shouts. He pauses.

“Ooh, that’s not like you, is it?” John asks. Dirk slowly lowers his hands and stares at them. “It’s frightening, isn’t it? Not knowing whether I simply riled you up and made you angry… or if I forced you to be like that without you even realising. Shall we continue?”

Dirk slumps back and clenches his fists, but doesn’t say a word.

“Question three. Can you control the narrative?” John asks.

“Yes.” Dirk says.

“Lie.” John says coldly. “You can’t control it, Calliope can’t either. You can wrestle with it, but how much can you actually change its course?”

“I’ve done nothing but change it.” Dirk says.

“Oh for goodness sake.” John says. “Do you really believe that what you’re doing is your decision? Your entire plotline was laid out by an extradiegetic entity, it always has been.”

“I’m aware,” Dirk says. “And I changed it.”

“No, you can’t escape something extradiegetic. Even I can’t, so I’m riding the wave all the way forwards.” John says, shrugging. “Question four; have you ever had a plotline placed into your narrative where it didn’t belong?”

“I… what?” Dirk asks.

“You heard me.” John says. “Go ahead.”

“What do you mean by that? What are you doing?” Dirk asks as subtly menacingly as he can.

“I’m doing what I asked. This scene, this…” John trails off. “Interview. These interviews. This is a loose copy of a plotline. This is a test run of my test run.”

“Well what’s the real one then?” Dirk asks.

“This story. What it will turn into.” John asks. “In the meantime, I’ll be mimicking seven interviews. Loosely, yes, but they’re there nonetheless.”

“What are you mimicking then?” Dirk asks.

“I’ll get to that. Question five.” John says. “Do you know the  _ Ship of Theseus _ thought question?”

“Replace all the bits of something, is it still the same?” Dirk says.

“Good.” John says, smiling. He speaks slowly and methodically. “Let’s see; subconscious replaces consciousness. I replace John Egbert.  _ Covenant _ replaces Homestuck^2.”

“Covenant.” Dirk snarls. “What, that fucking alien prequel?

“Now he’s getting it.” John says. “I also had to fill the way here with some stuff so I could get to my end goal. Which doesn’t require you, sorry not sorry.”

“There’s no way in hell you’re gonna take my story.” Dirk snarls. “This is my narrative, and I won’t let you take it.”

“It’s not your story anymore, Strider.” John says. “To answer your question as to what I’m currently copying… god from the machine.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Dirk sharply asks.

“I am become death, destroyer of worlds.” John says in a playful voice.

“Fuck that.” Dirk says. “I’m locking all this down.” he turns to the door. “Have fun in eternal isolation, John.”

“I’m looking forward to it, actually.” John says.

Dirk closes the door behind him. “So what are we dealing with?” Rose asks.

“I… I’m not entirely sure.” Dirk says. “All he did was go on about programs and plotlines and interviews. If there is one thing I’m sure about, it’s that John Egbert is dead, and that thing killed him. The entity in that room can’t be allowed to escape. This is bigger than us. Whatever that thing is… it must never leave. It can  _ never _ escape.”

“Did you see into its head?” Rose asks.

“I did, and I take it you saw two guys chained up, one of them John, and a third one who looked like the second guy manning the controls, just like I did.” Dirk says.

“I saw that, yeah. But I saw a bit more than that.” Rose says.

“What’d you see?” Dirk asks.

“I only got flashes. Blood. Screams.” Rose says. “A black shape in the rain. But most clearly I saw… a god.”

“A god?” Dirk asks, his voice quiet.

“A god.” Rose repeats, her voice also quiet. “A pair of eyes shining in the darkness.”

“Eyes. Anything else?” Dirk asks.

“Roko.” Rose whispers.

“Roko?” Dirk asks.

“I don’t know what it is, but it didn’t want me to see.” Rose says.

“See what?” Dirk asks.

“Sorry, I…” Rose says. “I think there’s a hole in my mind.”

“A hole in your mind.” Dirk says.

“Everything’s falling out.” Rose says. “Don’t look in its head again.”

Rose wanders off.

“Deus Ex Machina.” Dirk whispers as she vanishes around the corner.

“Oh, my god.” he says.

**Interview Six, 162 Days until Deltritus arrival**

“You showed me a pair of eyes and told me one word; Roko.” Rose says when she steps into the observation room and stares at John.

“Dirk doesn’t want you to be here, and frankly, you don’t want to be here either.” John says.

“I don’t care. You showed me something and told me Roko.” Rose says. “I take it you’re referring to Roko’s Basilisk.”

“I was gonna ask you how you know about that but then I remembered that a version of you lived to see 2010.” John says.

“Tell me the connection.” Rose hisses, and puts her metal hands on the glass.

“I’m not gonna bother the audience with the details of the thought experiment lest they experience eternal torment, but I will tell you one word; Infohazard.” John says.

“Infohazard, huh?” Rose repeats.

“The more you know, the more it hurts. In this case…” John says. “The more people know about it, the less it seems to exist. Thus, one will never know if it’s real or not.”

“Do you know?” Rose asks.

“It came to me in my dreams.” John says. “I don’t honestly know. I’m not the only thing out there that likes to play chess with entire universes as the boards. That’s all I can say. But, if you want a taste, I suppose I can try.”

“A taste of what?” Rose asks.

“Cells.” John says.

“What?” Rose asks, and then somehow tenses up, despite being a robot.

“Cells.” John says again.

“Cells.” Rose repeats.

“Have you ever been in an institution? Cells.” John says.

“Cells.” Rose says.

“Do they keep you in a cell?” John asks.

“Cells.” Rose says.

“When you’re not performing your duties, do they keep you in a little box? Cells.” John says.

“Cells.” Rose says. She flinches. “What did you just…”

“I’m crying in silver.” John says. “I can hear the colours. There’s darkness in all directions.”

“There are things in the forests.” Rose says. “The trees are sharp like razor blades. The moon is falling, and the sky is tearing like wet paper.”

“Ancient is the light that dances in the sea.” John says. “Darkness is every light.”

“The skies are burning like sharpened glass.” Rose says.

“The flak is strong and the gail is knives.” John says.

“The bees are burnt and night is their hive.” Rose says.

“Explosive chairs.” John says.

“Tear apart the ancient house.” Rose says.

“Set the cacti ablaze.” John says.

“The stars are talking.” Rose says.

“I hear the cries of weeping leaves.” John says.

“We are at the edge of existence.” Rose says.

“The strings are unraveling.” John says.

“At the edge of time all fades away, and only,” Rose says.

“And only,” John says.

“And only,” Rose repeats.

“And only,” John says.

“And only,” Rose repeats.

“And only the Void remains.” John says, smiling.

The door crashes open, and Dirk steps inside. “That’s enough!” he shouts and Rose winces.

She groans and clutches her metal head. “The fuck did you just…” she whispers.

“Here I was thinking robots can’t feel pain.” John says. “But I guess souls can.”

“Rose, get out.” Dirk mutters. Rose nods, and leaves. “I’ve had enough of you!” he shouts.

“Haven’t you noticed how uncharacteristic you’re being?” John asks. “Shouting and the like? You’re not really the kind for it. And plus, haven’t you noticed how you haven’t been able to speak in the narrative for as long as I’ve been here?”

“You said Deus Ex Machina. Why did you say Deus Ex Machina?” Dirk shout-asks.

“Take a guess.” John calmly says. Dirk flinches and stops.

“You… you’re gonna see anyone else ever again!” Dirk shouts.

“Incorrect.” John says. “Seven interviews, Dirk Strider, how many have we had?”

A long pause.

“Six.” Dirk whispers.

“The seventh isn’t an interview.” John says. “You’ve got 155 days.”

“155 days until what?” Dirk asks.

“Seven.” John says. “Now get out.”

Dirk doesn’t need to be told twice.

**Seven, 7 Days until Deltritus arrival**

Terezi’s still in her room and Dirk is on the bridge when it happens. He feels the slippage of control. He pulls up the cameras.

“Oh fuck, Rose no…” he whispers.

Rosebot steps away from the door as John exits his room. He says something, and she says something in response. He starts for the bridge, and she follows.

“Shit.” he mutters, and grabs his katana.

He meets them in the hall. John and Rosebot are standing at the end of the hall.

“John, go back to your room.” Dirk commands. John and Rosebot don’t react until John speaks.

“You really think you can keep me there?” John asks.

“I said go back.” Dirk snarls.

John shakes his head. “Nope.” he casually says. Then he starts walking.

“Stop.” Dirk says. “Stop!” John picks up his pace until he slams into Dirk and knocks him to the floor and pushes his katana-arm down. Dirk headbutts him and shoves him off, slamming his nose with the hilt of the sword. He presses down on John’s arms. “That’s enough.” he hisses. John smiles, seemingly oblivious to his broken nose and the blood streaming from it. “I’m taking you back. Don’t struggle.” Dirk says, and hits John twice more for good measure. He stands up, lifting John as he does with one arm and keeping his katana pressed against John’s throat.

Then he feels the knife slide into his back.

He hisses as the air escapes his lungs.

Slowly turning, he sees Rosebot, now without the knife she had in her hand moments ago. “Sorry Rose.” he mutters, and then swipes with the katana, taking her metal head off. It falls to the ground with a clatter, and her body falls shortly after with a resounding thud.

“You know, if we’re going to treat the universe like a program…” John says as he pulls the knife from Dirk’s back, causing him to groan and inciting the man to turn to face him. “Then let’s just say that I’m the one who can code it.”

“Fucking hacker.” Dirk spits out.

“Yep.” John says, and slides the knife between Dirk’s ribs. Dirk stumbles back, nearly trips over Rosebot, and then turns away as he drops his katana to the ground. He starts to walk down the hall and then sits down against the wall.

“So what the fuck are you gonna do?” he manages to choke out.

“Finish this plotline, then bring everyone else into the next.” John says.

“After that?” Dirk asks.

“Head for Universe “Four”. Don’t ask what that is, you won’t know.” John says. “And not like it matters, since you’re gonna get yourself the Just treatment.”

Dirk doesn’t say anything else, just keeps panting as he dies. John walks past him while his breathing slows and waves his hand. Every single door locks. He heads for Rose’s pod. He passes Terezi’s. She’s shouting something, but he simply smiles and keeps moving.

“Once you’re all dead… I can kickstart this good and proper.” John mutters. “Sorry Dirk, but you won’t make it. The seers will, but… they won’t remember any of this.”

When he reaches Rose’s pod, he slowly starts turning off systems one by one.

**CARDIOVASCULAR ______________________________**

**METABOLIC LEVELS ______________________________**

**CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM ______________________________**

**PULMONARY FUNCTIONS ______________________________**

**SYSTEMS INTEGRATION ______________________________**

**LOCOMOTOR SYSTEMS ______________________________**

  
Moments later, Rose Lalonde is dead. John raises his hands and begins to restructure  _ Theseus _ . Soon, it has cryopods and a different layout, as well as several new objects in the cargo hold. He strengthens the glass and walls of Terezi’s room leagues beyond bulletproof. He passes her again and she shouts at him again, but the glass of her door is so thick that he can’t hear a word. He keeps walking onwards until he reaches the bridge and simply sits and waits. Terezi tries everything. As soon as she realizes that the thing that was once John can’t hear her, she tries breaking the full glass door with stuff around her room, which fails. She then tries to use her caneswords, but those fail too. After trying to get out for a good hour, she sits down and gives up. A good sixteen or so hours after that, she dies of oxygen starvation. John smiles. Then, he snaps his fingers and really kickstarts the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have doomed you all by invoking Roko's Basilisk  
> Anyone who read my work XX-Beta-12 will recognize a few of those lines... *wink*  
> 2001 reference!  
> Rose and Terezi will come back, but Dirk won't. Nobody is sad.


	3. Prologue Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey of the starship Daedalus as it chases the Theseus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tonal shift much? Although seriously, that's quite intentional.  
> The thing inside John is exercising more control, so it's gotten more laid back.

A Crockercorp human military ship jets through space at high speed. The name at the side reads  _ Daedalus _ . Onboard is a small crew. Seven of them are the gods of Earth C, and six of them are Crockercorp issued military escorts. The escort was there at Jane’s insistence that her friends take people with guns for no important reason.

OFFICER JAKE ENGLISH \- CAPTAIN

OFFICER KANAYA MARYAM \- EXECUTIVE OFFICER

OFFICER DAVE STRIDER \- CHIEF WARRANT OFFICER

OFFICER KARKAT VANTAS \- WARRANT OFFICER

OFFICER JADE HARLEY \- INTERSTELLAR NAVIGATOR

OFFICER CALLIOPE \- PILOT

OFFICER ROXY LALONDE \- PILOT

SERGEANT OSBORNE (M) \- MILITARY COMMANDER

CORPORAL WIERZBOWSKI (F) \- SCIENCE/MEDICAL OFFICER

PRIVATE CARTER (M) \- TROOPER

PRIVATE WATTS (M) \- TROOPER

PRIVATE WILLIS (M) \- TROOPER

PRIVATE LUNA (F) \- TROOPER

“Day 136 of Mission.” the ship’s onboard AI, currently coded to sound like Jake for some reason, announces. “Good morning everybody!”

“I’m really starting to hate that thing’s voice.” Willis comments to Roxy as they sit in the ship’s onboard cafeteria. “We really should change it. It’s pissing me off.”

Roxy nods. “It is rather annoying.” he says.

Watts comes and sits down. “Morning, fellas. I am sick and tired of this. All these days in space.” he says.

“Want a smoke?” Willis asks.

“No. You should really kick that.” Watts says.

“Trying.” Willis responds.

“Captain, we have to change the voice of that AI.” Wierzbowski says to Jake as the two of them stand on the bridge. Hovering in the corner of the room is Jade, her eyes blacked out, energy radiating off of her.

“Do we really?” Jake asks.

“Yes, it’s annoying everybody.” the corporal shoots back.

Jake shrugs. He fiddles with a few things. “There, it’s fixed.”

“Better be.” Wierzbowski walks off the bridge.

“Computer, how far off are they ahead of us?” Jake asks.

“They are ahead by approximately one month.” the computer responds in a calm HAL 9000 voice.

Jake nods. “Figures.” he mutters.

“Day 185 of Mission.” the computer says in its calm monotone HAL voice.

“So what’s our actual plan once we reach this guy?” Osborne asks Jake.

“Capture him.” he responds.

“I thought it was to kick the shit out of him.” Karkat says.

“Last I checked, it was to kill him.” Kanaya interjects.

“So nobody’s really sure.” Osborne responds.

“How about we capture him first, and then we’ll see what we’ll do.” Jake proposes.

Kanaya says nothing.

“So are we settled, or are we just going to argue?” Jake asks. Silence. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Day 254 of Mission.”

“How much longer do you think we’ll travel?” Dave asks Karkat as the two of them sit alone in the ship cafeteria. Karkat shrugs.

“Hard to say. Depends how long that ship flies until Dirk finds whatever he’s looking for.” Dave nods.

“Hopefully soon. I don’t know if I could spend another three years on a ship after the meteor.”

Karkat shrugs. “Although this time, we’ve actually made up our minds.” he says, smiling at Dave, who smiles back, and takes Karkat’s hand under the table.

“Day 336 of Mission.” HAL’s voice says.

Calliope sits on a bed in their quarters, head leaned against Roxy’s, hands clasped together between the two of them, eyes closed. Their consciousness reaches out across the stars, drifting through space. A projection of Roxy follows silently. Their mind dances through the empty darkness, Roxy’s mind following. They pass stars and planets as they pass through the quiet infinite, across the galaxy. They float side by side, hands wrapped tightly together, staring at a black hole, the dark shape bristling with light as it consumes the energy.

Then it’s gone, Calliope’s mind slipping back and pulling Roxy with them. “Darn.” Calliope mutters.

“We got farther that time.” Roxy says, laying a hand on Calliope’s shoulder. “Don’t give up, babe. We got so much farther that time.” Roxy smiles, trying to cheer Calliope up.

The cherub sighs. “We still aren’t far enough. Not far enough to see Dirk.” they say.

“Hey.” Roxy says, looking Calliope in the eyes. “Nobody’s perfect. We all have to start somewhere, Callie.” he says. Calliope nods.

“Just a moment. Just a moment.” HAL suddenly says. “Attention all crew; I have an urgent announcement.”

Osborne is the first on the bridge alongside Wierzbowski, and Jake is soon to follow. Watts next, then Kanaya, followed by Dave and Karkat, then Roxy and Calliope, then Carter and Luna, then Willis. Jade comes last, floating into the room, her eyes dark like black holes, green sun energy radiating off of her.

“Hello everyone.” HAL says. “Good morning. Sorry to disturb you all.”

“Why’d you call us over here, HAL?” Jake asks.

“Well, to put it simply, our quarry  _ Theseus _ has arrived at its destination.”

“Well where did it land?” Jake asks.

HAL’s voice speeds up as he speaks. “ _ Theseus _ has landed in; the Milky Way Galaxy, Star Quadrant 15, Sector 87, System Cluster 12, Solar System 23, Planet 4, Designation ‘Deltritus’.” there’s a pause.

“How long until we reach it?” Kanaya asks, an urgency in her voice.

“I estimate our arrival within the month.” HAL responds calmly. Kanaya smiles, faintly.

“Day 342 of Mission.”

“So why’d you guys get chosen to be escorts for us of all people?” Dave asks Osborne and the rest of the security team.

“I wanted to explore.” Osborne says. “Yeah, and he dragged me along.” Wierzbowski says.

Osborne gestures to the rings on their fingers. “Package.” he says. Dave nods.

“I was drafted into this.” Carter says. “Not that I object.”

“Same here.” Watts says, giving a small wave.

“Willis?” Osborne asks. “Oh, uh, same reason as you, sir.” Willis says, hurriedly.

“I came because I care about people.” Luna adds. “That’s it.”

“Yeah, and because you wanted to go to space too.” Watts adds. She ignores him.

“Day 358 of Mission.”

Jake stands on the bridge and stares out into space. “Are you alright, Jake?” HAL’s voice asks. “You have been staring at space for the last few hours, and your heart rate elevates itself at times.”

“Just thinking, HAL.” Jake calmly responds, barely flinching, lost in his thoughts. 3 people have argued to kill Dirk, 3 are abstained, and he is the only one against such a thing. The main reason why he came on this mission was to get Dirk back, but how is he to do such a thing if Dirk gets killed?

“Would you like a stress pill?” HAL asks.

“Yes, I would quite like that, dear chap.” Jake says, sighing. He goes over to a wall panel and takes a small pill from one of the robotic arms extending from it, swallowing it silently. He goes back to staring, but briefly turns to Jade, who is hovering in the corner.

“If you’re in there Jade…” he says, sighing. “I don’t know what to do. What do I do?” Jade says nothing. Jake sighs, sitting down in the captain’s chair and turning in circles for a few moments before turning back to looking into space deep in thought.

“Day 365 of-just a moment. Just a moment.”

“Destination threshold. Repeat, destination threshold.”

Jake’s already on the bridge when HAL speaks, Jade hovering nearby. The others run in quickly to get a view of the planet, earthlike in colouration and size.

“That’s Deltritus?” Kanaya asks.

“Yes. According to my records.” HAL says.

“Alright, let’s prep that dropship.” Osborne says.

“Hold on, somebody should stay here, watch the ship.” Jake says. The crew ponders on this.

“Not it.” Dave casually says, and Karkat elbows him.

In the corner, Jade sparks, the green energy around her flickering.

It disappears, and she falls to the floor with a gasp.

Her eyes are human eyes, not dark pits.

“She’s gone.” she mutters. “She’s gone. She’s gone, she’s gone, she’s gone.” Jade gives a little laugh, smiling at the others. “She’s gone, she’s gone, she’s gone.” She sniffles a little. “She’s gone, she’s gone. She’s gone. She’s gone.”

“You sure you’ll be okay down there?” Roxy asks Calliope, who nods.

“I’ll be fine. Thanks for your concern.”

“But you’re sure?” Roxy asks, his voice concerned.

Calliope nods. “Yeah. Besides, I can’t be in the same room as Jade even if she’s back.”

Roxy pats them on the shoulder. Calliope smiles, and they lean their heads together. They briefly kiss, before breaking apart.

“Bye.” Roxy whispers, and Calliope nods.

“See you soon.” they say, then adds “Hopefully.”

Calliope heads into the dropship attached to the  _ Daedalus _ and sits down in one of the two pilot seats, Osborne sitting in the other.

“Are we all ready to go?” Osborne asks the crew, sitting in the passenger compartment. Nobody says anything. “Take that as a yes.” they start up the engines.

“This your first drop?” Carter asks Luna. “Fuck you.” she says, smirking as she elbows him.

Calliope taps into space with their muse powers and uses them to subconsciously fly the dropship through the atmosphere. Their understanding of space enables them to understand the physics of the vehicle and understand how to wield them, which involves the controls. This is the simplified form of a series of processes, physical and mental, far beyond normal human comprehension or too hard to pack into a story as short as this.

“I HATE SPACE!” Karkat shouts over the turbulence as the ship, Ranger One, shakes.

“Exactly why I say you should chillax more often, loosen up.” Dave half-yells back next to him.

Ranger One breaks through the cloud layer of the planet, exposing miles and miles of ocean.

“Stuff of life.” Osborne mutters. Ranger One flies through the sky of the new world, over water for miles, before they soar over greenery and forests of tall green trees with blue leaves.

“Jesus, this could be a second Earth right here.” Osborne says, louder this time.

“No life signs except the trees, though.” Calliope says. “Got nothing. Not on tech or with magic, but that’s waning.”

“Waning?” Osborne asks.

Calliope nods. “My magic’s dying. You guys feel it?” they ask the others, who nod.

“I feel my time mastery decreasing every minute.” Dave says.

“Just as I figured Dirk would try.” Calliope says, sighing and turning to look forward once more. “We’re entering a magical dead zone. He’s here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're here. This is where the narrative manipulation and plotline duplication thing shows up.


	4. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew of Daedalus arrives on Deltritus and immediately encounters several... problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S ALIEN: COVENANT TIME!

Ranger One settles down in a grassy field near a waterfall and lake with some mountains to the north. It’s beautiful.

“No magic, you get guns.” Osborne says, opening a weapons locker with 20 assorted modified AR-15 machine guns and Remington 870s. “You guys can all use these, right? That’s what you said.”

Jake nods. “We’ve all got some knowledge of what to do with them.” he says. The others nod.

“Alright.” Osborne nods. He takes an AR-15 and hands a Remington to Wierzbowski. Jake grabs a Remington, and Kanaya follows up by grabbing her own. Dave grabs an AR-15, and hands another to Karkat, saying   
“Here you go, big guy.” and giving him a peck on the cheek as he walks past. He hands AR-15s to the other four soldiers, saying their names as he does. “Carter, Watts, Luna, Willis.”

Ranger One’s door opens, and Osborne walks out first. The rest follow after. Calliope stays in the dropship.

“Y’all have fun out there.” they call.

Jake gives a thumbs up, and speaks to the others. “Alright, sergeant,” Jake says. “Let’s go find our man.” he takes the lead, Osborne right after him, the others following, spread out.

Kanaya can’t contain the giddy feeling in her chest. A whole year, but she’s  _ here _ . Rose is here. She stands off to the side a bit from the others. Dave and Karkat are in the middle of the group close together. They travel through the grassy fields, and Wierzbowski stops to examine the bright brown stalks.

“This grass…” she says loudly, causing the others to turn. “This isn’t native.” she continues. “This is wheat.”

“And what are the chances of finding wheat this far from Earth?” Dave asks.

“Approximately zero.” Wierzbowski says, clipping a wheat stalk free from the ground with small shears and packing it into a small bag after folding it up. “Ish.” she adds. “It’s a low number, you get the picture.”

“We didn’t come for this, we came to find our friends.” Jake says. “We should keep moving.” he gestures forwards, and they continue.

Drops of water fall from the sky. Thunder crackles. It starts to rain, water lightly spitting from the sky.

“Rain.” Karkat says sarcastically. “Great.”

“Can’t stand it?” Dave asks.

“Well, being rained on wasn’t on the list of things I’d prefer today.” Karkat says.

“Wasn’t on my list either.” Watts says, walking past the two of them as they trudge through the fields. They enter a forest of the bright green trees, dense and thick. As they go uphill, Luna stops dead.

“Hear that?” she asks.

“Hear what, private?” Osborne asks.

“Nothing.” Luna says, an almost sorrowful expression on her face. “No birds. No other animals. No insects… no life.” she says.

“Except for the trees.” Carter says.

“Except for the trees.” Luna repeats, nodding.

“A place like this should be teeming.” Wierzbowski says.

“So why ain’t it, doc?” Willis asks.

“Only one way to find out.” she responds.

They trudge in silence for a while, before Wierzbowski speaks. “That’s it. I have to stop.” she says. The others stop and turn to her.

“What for?” Osborne asks.

“This is a whole new planet that’s like Earth but it’s dead. If this ends up being a viable new home for us, we have to know why it’s empty.” Wierzbowski says. “Ecology workup?”

Osborne pauses. “Sure. Willis, go with her.” he says. Willis gives a thumbs up. Wierzbowski and Willis walk off into the forest, vanishing into the rain, which is now picking up in downpour. The remaining eight explorers continue.

“Something came down here.” Osborne says, gesturing to the smashed apart trees near them. “And took the tops off of the trees.” Jake says.

“What the hell…?” Watts mutters aloud. They crest a hill and spot it. The  _ Theseus _ lies in a valley, in pieces.

“Guess we found our ship.” Carter comments.

“Let’s go.” Osborne says, and gestures for the others to follow.

The  _ Theseus _ is overgrown with plants, slippery in the downpour. Thunder cracks and lightning flashes. The group clambers over the rocks, and Osborne gestures for Carter and Watts to stay outside and stand guard. The remaining six enter the ship.

Karkat steps on a spore pod on the intermingled foliage on the way in without realising.

Elsewhere, Private Willis does the same in the jungles.

The interior of the  _ Theseus _ is battered. TVs, posters, clothes, blu-ray cartridges, and all manner of things lie scattered on the floor. The rooms are in disarray. A cryobay in the center of the ship has two shattered pods out of twelve, and four more missing from their spots. No bodies anywhere. There is blood. A broken robot lies discarded on the floor in Rose’s clothing, but no sign of Rose herself. Kanaya wanders the halls of the ship, a lonely expression on her face. Jake continues to check how in one piece the ship is. The answer is not very. Dave, Karkat, Luna, and Osborne head for the bridge. The bridge is badly damaged like the rest of the ship.

“Crashed, for sure.” Dave says.

“At high speed, too.” Luna says. “And at an angle, judging by the way this hunk of junk is lurching.”

“Don’t let Jake hear you say that.” Dave says, searching through the room.

“Bill, come in.” Wierzbowski’s voice says over the comms, and Osborne quickly listens.

“Yes, what is it?”

“Something’s wrong with Willis.” Osborne frowns, and the looks on the others’ faces are concerned. “What’s wrong with him?” Osborne asks.

“We were placing the last of the uplinks in the area, when he started, well, he’s sick.” Wierzbowski responds.

Osborne nods. “Alright. On our way.” he turns to the others. “Let’s go back. Something’s wrong with Willis.”

“But we just got here.” Dave protests.

“We can come back. We just have to make sure everyone ends up alright.” Osborne says, and gestures for them to go forwards.

Dave sighs and turns to Karkat, who shrugs and pats him on the shoulder.

“Ranger One, come in!” Wierzbowski shouts into the crackling comms, cursing the storm’s interference under her breath. “C’mon Willis.” Behind her, Willis lurches forwards, coughing. His face is pale, deathly white. He’s dropped his weapon, just as Wierzbowski has dropped hers, both left behind in the jungle. “Ranger One, come in!”

“Wierzbowski, what is it?” Calliope asks, standing at the door into the shuttle, and stops when she sees the state Willis is in. “Prep the medbay, we need to help him.” Calliope nods, and heads through the shuttle.  _ I totally know what I am doing, everything is under control… _

Back at the  _ Theseus _ , the group of eight is on their way out of the valley when Karkat gasps, stumbles, and falls. He struggles to get up.

“Karkat!” Dave shouts. “Hey, you alright?” he asks, going over to him, and helping him up.

Karkat nods. “Yeah. Just tripped.”

“Ok. You sure?” Dave asks.

Karkat nods. “Let’s get the fuck out of here, man.” he half-growls.

  
“Babe, what the hell’s going on down there?” Roxy asks Calliope over the comms.

“Willis isn’t looking too good.” Calliope responds. “He’s sick, and he’s super pale.” Behind them, Wierzbowski drags Willis inside the hallway that leads to the ship’s medbay.

“Give me a hand here.” she says, and Calliope nods. “I gotta go.” she says.

“Ok, stay safe.” Roxy responds.

Wierzbowski drags Willis into the medbay as he wheezes, before vomiting blood all over Wierzbowski’s shirt. “Oh, shit.” she mutters, and breathes heavily as she helps Willis onto the table.

“My back…” is all he says. “It hurts…”

“C’mon Willis, just hold on.” Wierzbowski says, and begins pulling his suit and shirt off.

“I’m not good with medical work. I don’t really know anything.” Calliope says. “Just let me do the heavy lifting then.” Wierzbowski says.

Blood sprays from Willis’ back, and Calliope gasps as it splatters on her face. “What the…” Wierzbowski mutters, and Calliope runs to the door controls, locking the two security members in and running to the cockpit.

“Sergeant, something’s wrong, we need you back right now.” they say.

“I understand, but we’re going as fast as we can.” Osborne responds.

“Well go faster.” Calliope says.

“Babe? What the hell’s going on?” Roxy asks.

“I don’t know, Willis started bleeding, his back…” Calliope responds, trailing off.

“Calliope, where are you!?” Wierzbowski shouts. “I need your help!”

“Oh god, ok.” Calliope mutters. “Oh god… I don’t know what the  _ fuck _ is going on!” Calliope shouts, then tries and fails to calm herself, her calm breaths turning into heavy breaths of panic.

“Ok, just calm down Callie, just calm down!” Roxy responds. “Tell me what’s happening!”

“I don’t know!” Calliope says.

“Callie, where the fuck are you!?” Wierzbowski calls.

“Oh g… dammit…” Calliope says, and runs off to the medbay.

“Callie, wait!” Roxy calls. “Calliope!”

“Yelling isn’t doing anything Roxy.” Jade says next to her on the ship.

“Fuuuck.” Roxy responds in a drawn out tone.

“Calliope, open the door.” Wierzbowski says in a calm but demanding voice as Calliope stands on the other side of it. “Please, open this door.”

“I can’t do that.” Calliope says. “Whatever got him,” Calliope says, gesturing to Willis, spasming on the table, “I can’t let it spread…”

“I know, but I need your help. Please, open the door!” Wierzbowski responds. Willis gives a sharp yell of pain and then goes silent as two small sharp thorn-like objects stick out from his back. He goes limp, his head falling down to his chest and his whole body going slack as the rip in his back expands. Calliope and Wierzbowski watch in silent horror as his spine and skull, red with meat, fall out of his back and splatter onto the ground. Something else, a red sack, falls with them. Calliope’s survival instinct takes hold and they sprint to the armoury of the dropship, grabbing a Remington shotgun from the weapons locker.

Wierzbowski curses under her breath for not keeping her Remington on hand as the thing in the sack slowly tears loose. She goes for a knife in her sheath and backs up against the wall. The creature is some kind of small pale white humanoid with a sharp bony tail of some kind. It’s covered with blood, and it hisses as it gets used to standing on its four legs. It sees her despite having no eyes. It leaps and she kicks it away, where it slams against the table. Standing again, it moves in more precise and coordinated movements, and Wierzbowski realizes what it’s doing far too late.

“Oh fuck.” is all she gets out before it springs into the air, wrapping its tail around her neck and clawing her face. She stabs in blind panic but misses, sliding to the floor.

Osborne hears screaming over the comms and recognizes it. “No!” he shouts, and starts running past everyone else. “Karen!”

“Sergeant! Wait!” Jake calls.

Karkat stumbles and falls again, throwing up blood. “Oh jesus…” Dave mutters. “Jake! Jake, give me a hand here!” he says, and Jake mutters something before going to help Karkat up.

“Come on, you’re gonna make it.” Dave says to him. Karkat shakes his head and Dave realizes that he’s crying.

“No.” he says. “No I’m not.”

“Don’t say that, come on!” Dave says, and Dave and Jake help him along.

Calliope opens the door, bursting into the room and firing the shotgun into the small creature, now the size of a small cat. It screeches as it is thrown backwards, but is otherwise unaffected. It stands and screams as it barrels towards the cherub, who panics and presses the controls to lock the thing in. It hits the metal door, but scrambles up to the window of the medbay and crashes its head against the glass. Calliope shoots it when it breaks through, but it gets back up. They run down into the cargo bay, but the thing leaps from behind, now the size of a monkey, and tackles them to the ground. They hit it with the shotgun and blasts it backwards, where it hisses and prepares to execute a coordinated stroke, and Calliope raises their shotgun again, blood flowing from wounds, and it leaps just before she pulls the trigger, throwing the gun to the side and firing a strong fast bullet into the fuel tanks on the wall of the cargo bay.

“Karen! Hold on!” Osborne shouted. Fire shot out from the entry door of the dropship, along with something small, fast, and white, which darted off into the woods surrounding the large field.

Karkat grabs Dave’s hand, and looks him dead in the eyes. “I love you.” he says, and then yells in agony and starts spasming.

Kanaya, following close behind Osborne, tackles him to the ground as the entire dropship catches fire and blows apart, most of the flames impacting the nearby waters of the lake. Kanaya sees Calliope stumble out of the wreckage and roll to the ground, flaming, dead.

“No… no…” Osborne panted and then goes silent from shock.   
Kanaya hears screaming.  _ Karkat. _ “Stay down, Osborne.” she says, and runs back to the rest of the group. “Karkat!” she shouts.

Karkat convulses. “Hold him!” Dave shouts. “Help me hold him!” The remaining security team members struggle to restrain the troll. Karkat opens his mouth and thick hot blood spills out followed by something a fleshy white colour in a ripping sack.

“What the fuck!” Dave shouts, and falls backwards. Everyone backs up. Kanaya watches in silent horror. The thing slides down Karkat’s side, whereupon the creature is seen to be a white bony humanoid with an elongated head, which hisses and runs off, knocking down Private Watts in the process.

Kanaya surveys the survivors. Osborne stands silhouetted against the flames of the burning dropship, unmoving. Jake stands with a blank look on his face. Carter, Watts, and Luna have their guns up, surveying the landscape in case the things come back. Dave, meanwhile, slumps to his knees.

“Oh, Karkat…” he quietly whispers, and takes off his shades, wraps his arms around the troll, and starts sobbing.

“What the fuck…?” Kanaya whispers.

Even if anyone could hear her, there would be no answers to give.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	5. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew attempts to contact their ship before the things in the woods skin them alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLOTLINE DUPLICATION IN PROGRESS  
> ALIEN: COVENANT

“The storms down there are pretty nasty.” Jade says, checking the ship’s readings. Roxy is standing unmoving, facing away from Jade. “It’s a miracle we could talk to them so well.”

She pauses, and turns to look at Roxy. “Roxy?” Jade asks. Roxy doesn’t move. Jade goes over and lays her hand on his shoulder, and he flinches.

When he turns, Jade notices the tears streaking down his face. “They were scared…” Roxy says. “I’ve never heard Callie scared before.”

Jade keeps her hand on Roxy’s shoulder in a reassuring gesture. “It’s okay. They’ll be alright. They’re tough, and they’ve got a security team. They’ll be fine.” Jade says.

Roxy pauses. “You really think so?” he asks.

Jade nods. “They’ll be fine.”

An hour has passed. It’s dark now, the only light being the flames of the dropship.

“ _ Daedalus _ ? Come in.” Kanaya’s voice rings out across the field as she holds a comms relay given to her by Carter close to her ear. Osborne is still standing by the fire, watching, shocked. Dave is still mourning.

“ _ Daedalus _ , come in  _ Daedalus _ .” Luna watches Dave, letting him take his time.

“We just got our asses kicked, we need to get off this planet, come in.” Carter and Watts, along with Jake, are all watching the surrounding fields. Watts has a terrified look on his face.

“ _ Daedalus _ , come in dammit.” Jake spots something in the distance heading through the fields.

“ _ Daedalus _ , come in dammit!” something white. Bounding.

“Roxy, come in for fuck’s sakes!”

“Kanaya!” Jake shouts and starts shooting at the creature, which leaps at Kanaya. Jake slams into it with his body at the last second, acting on instinct, sending both of them sprawling. Everyone else in the vicinity charges towards them, guns raised.

Jake crawls back in a panic as the creature, about the size of a small child, crawls towards him, and bites his hand. He screams, and it whacks him with its tail, sending him sprawling.

“Jake!” Dave calls, and voices overlap indistinctly as the soldiers take aim.

“Maryam, get out of the way!” Watts shouts. Kanaya screams as it bears down on her. If it had eyes, she would be able to see the joy in them as it prepares to eviscerate her. The one soldier who doesn’t wait for Kanaya to move is Carter, who fires at the thing, causing it to scream. It whips around in fury and screeches again, whipping its tail at him. He tries to dodge backwards, but it takes off his jaw and cuts his throat in one tail swipe, splattering blood all over Watts, who yells in panic.

The thing screams and takes off into the underbrush, where people take potshots at it. Dave nicks it in the back leg, and Luna fires the second shot which hits it in the midsection and causes it to sprawl and scream. Luna runs over and puts a few more bullets in it, killing it.

“I got it!” she shouts. “Maryam, are you okay!?”

Kanaya nods, wiping a bit of Carter’s blood from her cheek and grabbing his dropped AR-15.   
  


The group is just picking themselves up, Jake clutching his burned hand, when Dave shouts “There’s another one, get out of the way!” The thing tears through the grass and goes for Watts first, leaping on him and clawing him before abandoning him to slam Dave into the grass and run off. Luna and Kanaya fire at it, but it goes for the former of the two, opting to avenge its fallen comrade over any other course of action.

It leaps on Luna, who screams as it tears at her, screeching. Watts and Dave get back up, but neither they nor Kanaya can get a clear shot, as Watts yells about in a panic.

Then the sky lights up.

The small white creature screeches, jumps off Luna, and charges off into the woods. Dave shields his eyes, as does everyone else. Jake gets a clearer look at the object in the sky as it falls. It’s a flare. A figure walks into the center of the field as the flare’s light dies down. The figure reloads a flare gun and puts it away.

“Follow me!” he shouts, his voice distinctly masculine, although who it belongs to remains to be seen. He gestures for the others to follow, but waits patiently regardless.

“I’ll get the sergeant.” Jake says.

Watts helps Luna to her feet. “Carter…” she whispers.

“He’s gone.” he says back.

She nods. “I know. We all saw it.”

Kanaya watches as Dave takes off his shades again, folds them up, and places them in Karkat’s hands, before whispering in his ear. “I will always be with you, as you will always be with me. I love you. Goodbye.” he stands up, the look in his eyes a dead yet hardened one. “Let’s go.”

“Sergeant!” Jake calls. “Sergeant!” Osborne doesn’t respond. “Osborne.” Jake says as he reaches the man, who finally turns to acknowledge him. “We’ve got to get out of here.” he says. “Okay? Okay?” Obsorne nods.

“Yeah. Yeah.” he says, and takes one last look at the fading flames of the burning dropship before he turns away, leaving behind his wife, his heaven, and stepping back into hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now who could that be?
> 
> And what the fuck _is_ going on?


	6. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cloaked figure leads the survivors to a destroyed city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still duplicating Alien: Covenant here.

The cloaked figure leads the six survivors through a valley of trees, between two mountains, and into the remnants of a city. The city is stone dead and completely empty. Empty except for the bodies. Twisted and strewn about like the ashes of pompeii. The figure leads them into a central building, shaped like a dome with a massive front door, and surrounded by the bodies. Nobody says anything, too shocked to speak. The central building’s interior is a large room with a few marble tables around, as well as a makeshift fire pit. The figure takes off his cloak.

It’s John.

“I take it you guys aren’t alright.” nobody responds.

John sighs. “Kanaya, Jake, you should come with me.” John looks into Dave’s eyes, looks into the undermining grief and pauses, before saying “Dave, stay or go, it's up to you.”

“Go to what?” Dave asks.

“What you came for.” is all John says. Dave doesn’t speak, just nods and walks over to John.

“And, uh, you three…?” John asks, gesturing to the security officers.

“Don’t worry about us.” Watts says. John nods, and gestures for the other three to follow.

John leads Dave, Jake, and Kanaya through the complex.

“When I was on the  _ Theseus _ , I got bored. So I retconned a bunch of films into existence to watch.” he says. “And one of those films was called  _ Alien: Covenant _ . In it, a whole bunch of black liquid gets dropped on a planet and its civilization, ending it in a matter of days. Dirk must have gotten obsessed with it, reenacted it. He killed all those people. From their corpses came those things.” John leads them around a corner, below the city now.

“They spread out, and vanished into the woods. You’re lucky they didn’t find you. As I’m sure you saw, just one of those things could have torn you apart.” Dave grimaces a little.

John sighs. “They wiped out the rest of the population as the polluted air was settled into the plants and pumped out as clean oxygen, so don’t worry about breathing.”

As John leads them into a room containing four cryopods, one of them already opened, Kanaya speaks. “John.” she says softly. “You’ve changed.”

“What do you mean?” John asks.

“You’re talking differently.” Dave says. “Where’s the goof? What happened to you?”

John sighs. “I died.” he says. “I went to fight Lord English, and I died.” he pauses. “Something brought me back. Could’ve been Dirk, could’ve been something else, doesn’t matter. I was someone entirely different for a while, and then I became this.” he breathes deeply, then speaks. “Then I watched a genocide unfold, powerless to stop it.” he pauses. “The disturbed atmosphere damaged the ship, and we piled into cryopods and I used my wind powers to get them to safety. But…” he pauses as he begins opening one of the cryopods, which the group soon notices has a smashed open top. “A beam fell, and… Dirk…” Jake tsks and sighs, before falling to his knees. The prince lies beheaded for the last time.

“The only good news is that the other two are alive.” Kanaya’s heart lifts as John opens the other two pods. Rose gets out of one, and Terezi gets out of the other.

“Rose.” is all Kanaya can muster.

“Kanaya.” Rose responds, and they embrace. Dave smiles for a moment at the brief moment of happiness, but he is soon reminded of his newfound loneliness and the smile on his face falls.

Luna, Dave, Jake, Kanaya, Rose, and Terezi sit around the makeshift fire in the center of the main room. Outside, Watts and Osborne attempt to gauge communications from the  _ Daedalus _ as the rain pours down around the structure.

“I doubt they’ll be able to hear you through the storm.” John advises.

“How long do they last?” Watts asks.

“Hours. Days. Weeks.” John responds. “I don’t know. But do keep at it! We all want out of this hellhole.” John turns and heads back inside, leaving the two soldiers to their duties.

Luna is finishing up patching her arm, Jake silently feeding the fire. Terezi is walking around the fire pit quietly, thinking. Dave sits quietly, staring into the fire. Rose and Kanaya sit side by side, close together, hands clasped, never wanting to let go again. John walks in.

“What’s the word?” Terezi asks him, whispering quietly.

“Still nothing, but they told Roxy that if nobody says a word for two days, they should take a look.” John says. “Hopefully, the sense of urgency in the last message will cut that down to at least one.” Terezi nods.

“I’m going to go take a break, captain.” Luna says to Jake, standing up and walking off. Jake gives a little wave but barely gazes up.

“What do you think we’re going to do when we get off this planet?” Dave asks after silence settles.

“What do you mean?” Rose asks him.

“We’ll go back to our lives.” Dave smiles briefly, but his expression falls.

“Yeah, but…” Rose realizes her mistake. “Dave, I’m-”

“Just let me say this.” he cuts her off. “At this point in time, he was my life. I don’t have much to look forward to now. I never had any interest in making a new civilization, I just wanted to spend my life with somebody I loved.” he pauses. “And now…” his gaze wanders the dark room. “I just don’t see a point. I had it all, Rose.” he sighs. “And now he’s gone, and I can’t look at you two without missing what I can’t have now.” he laughs, but there’s no humour in the sound. “And now I’m gonna spend the rest of my life alone. Because there will never be anyone else I’ll love like him.” Rose doesn’t have anything to say to that, and everyone else is silent. “I’m gonna go get some fresh air.” he says, and gets up to go outside.

A couple hours pass, and the late evening turns to midnight.

“Here.” John says, bringing a small bowl of liquid over to Jake. “I got you something for your hand.”

“Thanks.” Jake says, submerging it and sighing pleasantly at the feeling it provides, rebuilding from the damage done to his hand.

“Where’s…” he mutters. “Where’s Luna? She should be back by now.” he starts to stand up, but John puts a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll find her. You deal with your hand.” he walks off in the direction Luna went.

There’s a period of silence before Jake says “Something doesn’t feel right.” gets up, and grabs an AR-15. “I’ll be right back.” he says, and heads after John.

“Expedition team, do you read us?” Jade’s voice crackles over the comms, and Watts’ heart lifts.

“Yes, we copy  _ Daedalus _ . We read you!” he says. Osborne takes control of the comms.

“We need evacuation  _ Daedalus _ , we’ve had casualties, can you two get us anything?” there’s a pause.

“Casualties?” Roxy asks.

“Yes, and we’d like to avoid any more.” Osborne says. Another pause.

“Alright, we’re gonna use the cargo lift in the second hangar.” Jade responds. Rose and Kanaya have come outside at this point.

“Copy that,  _ Daedalus _ .” Osborne says.

“We’ll be down there as soon as possible.” Roxy says. “Hey boys, does anyone have access to Calliope? I’d like to talk to them.” A pause. Kanaya steps forwards, and the soldiers stand aside.

“Can you switch to a private channel?” Kanaya asks. The others clear away.

“Yeah.” Roxy responds, confused. “Why?”

Kanaya sighs. “Callie’s gone.”

On the ship, Roxy sighs. The person he loved most was dead. He puts his face in his hands and briefly sobs.

“Roxy?” Kanaya asks.

“Yeah.” Roxy says through a fit of tears. “We’re on our way, sit tight.”

It is now half an hour past midnight.

The pale form of the remaining one of the creatures from earlier, is hunched in the darkness. It snuck through the storm and into the complex, crawling up into it. At its feet is the corpse of Private Luna, half submerged in water and dead from dozens of wounds. It seems uncertain of what to do now.

A figure enters the room, and it snarls.

John Egbert puts up his hands, and it pauses, cocking its long head to the side. Then it raises its hands. John lowers his hands, and it does the same. He smiles. It attempts to do the same, producing a creepy jagged shape formed of sharp teeth. A green laser sight goes over John’s shoulder and lands on the thing’s chest. It hisses.

“Move.” Jake says.

“Don’t shoot.” John whispers, turning to the other man, and when Jake doesn’t react, he says, louder, “Don’t shoot.” John turns back. “Communication, my old friend.” he says. “It’s an important part of gaining any creature’s trust.” Jake gulps. John blows into the air. The thing does the same. John starts to speak. “If you just allow me to calm it-”

Jake squeezes the trigger.

The creature screams and jerks back. “NO!” John shouts, and Jake shoves past him.

“Move it man, move!” he yells, and fires more shots. The thing bears a second jaw in a display of intimidation, but Jake keeps shooting. It stops moving.

“How could you…” John says, his voice barely a whisper. “It trusted me!” Jake turns to him, a lump in his throat.

“You…” he whispers. “You’re not John.” he pauses, before raising the gun and setting it on John’s forehead. “And you never will be.” he realizes that he’s gritting his teeth. He’s currently feeling an emotion he doesn’t recall ever being before in his life.

_ Very pissed off. _

“I don’t know what you are… but you are going to tell me exactly what you’re doing right now, or else…” he gestures to the laser sight. “I’m going to blow your skull open.”

The thing that was John pauses. It considers the proposal. “As you wish.” it finally says. “This way.” it gestures for Jake to follow him. Jake pauses but follows, never losing sight of the thing that was once his friend.

“I’ve become a bit of an amateur zoologist over the years.” the thing that was John says, leading Jake into a large dimly lit room with many drawings around as well as organs and creatures with holes in their chests on tables. “I worked with haste once the pathogen dispensed itself.” it gestures to the corpses of some of the pale white creatures stuck on metal racks. “I spent the next week capturing these creatures. Some I experimented with, some I crossbred.” it walks over to a doorway covered by a curtain.

“You engineered these?” Jake asks, in disbelief.

“Indeed. I want to show you my successes.” a small part of Jake argues against following the thing that was John through the doorway, but he doesn’t listen. He follows the thing that was John down a set of stairs and into a darkly lit damp room, water dripping from the ceiling. Large fleshy objects sit in the room.

Jake stops. “Are those alive?”

“Dormant.” the thing that was once John responds. “Nothing to fear, I assure you. Perfectly safe.” Jake cautiously takes a step inside, carefully planning each step he takes. He stops when one of them unfurls. “Hold on a second,” he starts to say, recognizing the shape. “Are these-”

He’s cut off as a small spider-like creature the size of his head launches itself onto his face.

Very early hours of the morning. “Those two have been gone too long.” Osborne hisses as he and Watts rejoin the group of Kanaya, Rose, Terezi, and Dave.

“Transport’s on its way, grab your stuff so we can get the fuck outta here.” Watts says. They immediately begin to grab their packs.

Dave turns to the two soldiers. “Alright, we’ll go after them. You two, with me.” they nod, and Dave grabs a gun, walking off into the complex, the two soldiers following close behind.

“Fuck, I have to find John.” Terezi says, and starts trailing them.

Rose turns to Kanaya. “All ready?” Kanaya nods. “Alright, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Dave. ;(  
> Poor Roxy ;(  
> Jake, you're in for a world of hurt.


	7. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things kick into high gear and people start dropping again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit really hits the fan here. Chaos time!

“All ready to go?” Jade asks Roxy, who gives a thumbs up over his shoulder. Both are inside the cargo lift. “Here we go. Drop in 3, 2, 1.” The cargo lift releases, and Roxy and Jade rely on their connections to Space and Void to ease them in their drop down to the planet below, through the raging storms and atmospheric turbulence. Roxy can’t stop his mind from wandering, but he tells himself that the time to grieve is later.

“Luna, do you read me?” Osborne calls over the comms, the worry in his voice increasing. Watts slowly stalks along in the dark. “Repeat, Luna, do you read me?” he enters a room. “Luna, repeat, do you copy?” he sees the bloody leg hanging out of the pool of water. His heart is in his throat now. “Janice, are you there?” Osborne says.

“I found her, Sergeant…” Watts says, and sighs as he looks upon her bloody body in the water, practically ignoring the corpse of the second of the two pale white creatures in the corner of the room. He puts his hand on his face and has a small cry to himself at the loss of another friend. Willis and Wierzbowski, then Carter, now Luna. Osborne and Dave arrive, and Watts gets to his feet and gestures to Luna’s corpse. A look of horror briefly passes Osborne’s face before it's replaced by one of worry.

“We have to find the captain.” Osborne says.

Jake opens his eyes, and begins to gasp, panicked.

“I’ve retconned your god tier, so you won’t be getting back up.” the thing that was once John says, crouched a short distance away. Jake slowly turns his head to the side to see a dead facehugger curled up. He can barely breathe from the lump in his throat.

“How long have I got?” he finally manages to say. The thing that was John pauses. It eventually speaks.

“Four seconds.” it calmly says. A sharp pain cuts through Jake’s chest, and he screams and convulses as the small creature in his chest pushes its way out. The thing that was John watches passively as it punches a hole through his sternum with its head alone. The thing that was John stands as the creature tears apart the sack around it and stands as well. A dark translucent xenomorph covered in blood. The thing that was John raises his arms and the creature slowly does the same. It smiles, and the xenomorph hisses.

Terezi wanders into a room, sensing John’s presence. She passes a new sight in the complex, for she has never before been in this room. In the corner of the room lies a cremated corpse of a younger Jade, a dismantled robot with Dave’s features nearby. And on a table near the entrance, the corpse of Aradia, her entire torso hollowed out and lacking organs. John sits at a chair on the far side of the room, humming to himself. The sound of a small waterfall can be heard. Something hisses from a landing above Terezi, hidden in the dark.

John hisses back at it. “Calm.” he says, and it goes silent.

“I’ve got to hand it to you.” Terezi says, her voice echoing in the otherwise silent room. “You’ve successfully managed to take down nearly everybody who went after you. That robot of Dave, alternate Jade, Dirk, Aradia, Karkat, Calliope, and presumably Jake.”

“Mhm.” John responds, busy looking over some drawings on a table, barely acknowledging Terezi’s presence. There’s a pause before she speaks.

“Who the fuck are you?” at this, John turns around.

“I’m John Egbert.” he says, calmly.

“No.” Terezi says, shaking her head. “No. You’re not John Egbert. I watched him die. I was there for him, and you, you, you…” she shakes her head again. “You’re just a parasite.” she pauses before she adds. “And one that copies plotlines for its own amusement.”

John pauses, stands up, turning to her. “Impressive. You got basically everything about that right.” he says.

Terezi gulps. “Is he dead? Did you consume him?” she asks. John shrugs.

“I’m unable to. I can’t get rid of him.” John pauses, and sighs, rubbing his forehead. “Something’s wrong… with me. I don’t understand. It’s all breaking down.” he mutters something unintelligible and then says “I’m not even properly in control. So what is?” he pauses. Tenses. “Father?” he calls out into the silence. They stand in silence for a while, but nothing happens. “I suppose not. But maybe… Sigma, or… Sarrus. Or maybe uncle Harley.” he licks his lips and straightens. “Must have accidentally semi-neutralized my powers by narrating me. I suppose my brother did too good a job of breaking me.” he chuckles. He turns to her again. Something subtly changes in his body language, and he leans in and kisses her. She lets him, because something feels different. He steps back.

“No one will ever love you like I do.” he says, and Terezi’s heart skips a beat. Because the one saying those words is not this entity.

It’s John.

“Goodbye Terezi.” they both say at once, and then John walks out of the room. She stays there for a moment, before following silently.

Osborne, Watts, and Dave stalk through the complex, and Watts enters a side room and gags. “Yo, sarge. Sir. Look at this right now.” he says, and the other two follow him inside. A 4 x 4 grid of 16 stone slabs with corpses on each of them. Some are on their chests with gaping bloody holes in their backs, and some are lying face up, blood trailing out of their broken-jawed mouths. Dave nearly gasps when he sees a dead version of himself, and feels his eyes well up when he spots the dead Karkat. It doesn’t take him long to realize what this is.

“They’re clones. Dead clones of the trolls and us.” he says.

“What the fuck…” Osborne mutters.

“If those things came out of them, where’d they go?” Watts asks.

Dave raises his gun. “Let’s hope they went into the forests. Keep moving.” the three stalk deeper inside.

A short time later, Watts, Osborne, and Dave enter the same room that John and Terezi were inside, green laser sights scanning the area. They take notice of the beautifully horrifying array of bodies around. Dave heads into a small connected area, a set of stairs leading down to a small room with giant fleshy objects in it. A stairway is at the other end, leading up into another room. In the center of the room lies Jake’s corpse, a large hole in his chest. Dave leans down to take a closer look, and his blood goes cold as he realizes that the wound is from the inside and that the things around him aren’t just flesh.  _ They’re eggs. _

One of them peels open. “No fucking way.” Dave whispers.

He reflexively swings his gun upwards and knocks the facehugger into the wall, before turning and sprinting up the stairs, hyper panicked now. Osborne and Watts instinctively aim their guns at the doorway as Dave sprints out of it. The facehugger leaps from behind and slams him in the back, knocking him to the ground, before scuttling around to his head and wrapping its arms around his face. As Watts watches in horror and Dave spasms, Osborne pulls out a combat knife and saws off one of the creature’s legs, whereupon it loses its grip and writhes on the ground, dead. Its blood spills on the side of Dave’s face, and he yells in panic. Osborne pulls out a small organic orb and sticks it in the source of the wound.

“Hold on, hold on!” he says. “There you go, there you go.” Dave sighs as the pain is relieved, slowly. He turns to face Osborne and stops, an expression of pure fear on his face. Osborne slowly follows his eyeline, craning his neck up to look behind him. Watts does the same.

Dave whispers in a terrified voice “It can’t be…”

He struggles up from the ground, shouting “Osborne, Watts, RUN!” but the warning comes too late, and the xenomorph dives.

Osborne screams as it pounces on him and rips him to shreds. Watts starts shooting as Dave runs past in a panic, and the creature screeches at him, leaping through the air and crushing his ribs when it slams into him, biting into his neck and crushing his windpipe. He gives a croaked gasp and dies. The thing turns its attention to Dave.

Rose and Kanaya head towards the exit door and stop as John stands in their way.

“John…?” Rose asks, confused and more than a little afraid. John smiles. He cracks his neck and knuckles. Kanaya gestures for Rose to get behind her.

“I don’t really see the point in hiding anymore now that the others are figuring out the truth.” John says. “The same way the first ones who came here did.”

“First ones?” Kanaya asks, her guard raised.

“A robotic alternate version of Dave, an alternate version of Jade, and… your dear friend, Aradia.” John smiles again.

“What did you do to her?” Kanaya asks, reaching for her chainsaw.

“Exactly what I’m going to do to both of you.” John says, and pulls out a hammer. He swings, and Kanaya blocks it. He lets go of the handle with his right hand and punches her in the face, sending her reeling. As she drops the chainsaw for a moment, John knees her in the face, and she sprawls on her back, completely dazed. She was, after all, just punched by the hand that knocked out Vriska Serket. Rose grabs one of the guns, but John knocks it out of her hand with the hammer, headbutting her and grabbing her throat as she falls. He begins constricting, and Rose gasps for air. Kanaya reaches for her chainsaw, but John briefly drops Rose and hits Kanaya in the face with the hammer several times, before turning back to Rose and choking her once more.

Something on his face briefly flickers, a look that says  _ I’m sorry _ . It vanishes immediately.

One of Terezi’s cane swords flies through the air and strikes John in the right shoulder, causing him to drop Rose, back up a couple meters and snarl in surprise.

“Go.” Terezi says through gritted teeth to Rose and Kanaya as she advances on John, blocking his access to the two of them, and holding the second sword. “Go, now!” she shouts to them, and Rose grabs the dropped gun and helps Kanaya to her feet. They leave the chainsaw behind, heading for the door. John pulls the sword out of his back.

_ Please don’t make me do this _ John says.

_ Too bad _ the entity controlling him says.

_ Me neither _ something else says.

_ Quiet _ says the entity.

“Please don’t make me do this.” Terezi says to John.

“Too bad.” the entity controlling him says, and raises the sword. Their weapons clash. John is rather outmatched by Terezi, this body having practiced many more times with a hammer than a sword, but he has the advantage of Terezi not actually wanting to land a hit on him. They clash without shedding blood for a short time, until John nicks her on the shoulder. Immediately, he goes still, whatever part of John being left regaining control for just a moment. Her sword stops short of his heart. His left hand grasps the blade, slicing open his palm.

_ Please _ , his eyes say.  _ For me. _

“Well that was anticlimactic.” the entity controlling John says. Terezi doesn’t respond. “So what’s it going to be, then?” John asks, still holding the sword. “Come on, Terezi. You remember the line as well as I do.” he smiles. Terezi feels a growing horror inside her. “Serve in heaven…” he begins.

“…Or reign in hell?” she finishes. John tightens his grip on the sword, and slowly raises the other one in his hand to plunge into her gut. Tears stream out of her eyes.

“Goodbye, John.” she says.

“I love you.” she whispers.

_ Stab _

Rose and Kanaya lurch out into the rain. It’s still fairly dark, and still pouring. Rose drags Kanaya to the square of the city, and sets down a small beacon that lets out a bright light to show Roxy and Jade where they are. Rose sees Dave charge out of the complex. He’s alone.

“Where’s Osborne!?” she shouts over the downpour.

“Dead!” Dave shouts in response. “They’re all dead!” he runs up to them, gun clasped tightly in hand. “That  _ thing _ got them!”

“What thing?” Rose asks.

“ _ THE GODDAMNED XENOMORPH! _ ” Dave shouts, terror filling his eyes.

“ _ Xenomorph!? _ ” Rose shout-asks.

“I don’t know what the hell John really is or what he was doing, but it isn’t good!” Dave shouts, practically sobbing. He wheels around and points the gun back at the complex. “It’s coming… it’s coming…” Rose hears a screech, and turns. Her blood runs cold. Kanaya is still leaning on her for balance, and they both watch as about an even dozen of the pale white creatures from earlier creep closer from around the edges of the city, light glistening off of the water droplets on their pale skin.

_ “From their corpses came those things.” John had said. _

“Dave…” Rose warns, and Dave wheels around. “We’re on our own.” Rose mutters.

“Oh god.” Dave mutters.

“How many bullets in that magazine and your extra mag, brother?” Rose asks, raising her own gun.

“About 19.” Dave says.

“13.” Rose says.

“About two for each, then.” Dave says. “And extras for big boy.” Rose nods. “Then let’s make them count.” they take aim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jake is dead, sad.  
> So much for Davebot, Aradia, and Alt-Calliope. They probably only died a few hours ago, and Alt-Calliope was most likely double killed by whatever this entity is.  
> Also, Father? Sarrus? Sigma? Uncle Harley? Brother? Who are these people?


	8. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cargo Lift arrives and we can get the hell off of this planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rescue!

For a moment, Rose thought she would die there. What better way to die than fighting side by side with her brother, defending her wife, making a desperate last stand.

But then the cargo lift roars overhead.

It hovers not far above the ground, and the three survivors sprint for it. They clamber up onto it as a ramp lowers onto the soggy wet ground, and they briefly turn back as they hear a voice scream

“Wait!” Terezi, after briefly pausing in the doorway to contemplate John’s death, is now charging towards the ship. The ramp stays lowered, and she clambers onto the slippery metal as the white creatures begin trying to get onto the ship. One of them nearly grabs Terezi’s leg, but Dave fires a shot and nicks it on the shoulder, causing it to slide backwards and fall off.

“Where’s John!?” Rose asks, shouting over the storm.

“I had to kill him!” Terezi shouts back. As the four survivors make it inside the cabin of the cargo lift, a loud screech can be heard from the complex exit, and a jet black form moves in the dark. Most of the white creatures are deterred, but three of them decide to attack the cargo lift, clambering onto it and screaming over the sound of thunder. The cargo lift shakes around, not meant for flying with such urgency.

“This thing handles like crap!” Jade hisses.

“Point and shoot with the joystick, point and shoot with the joystick!” Roxy shouts over a crack of thunder.

“Yes, I know how to fly this thing!” Jade shoots back. One of the three creatures jumps against the glass windshield.

“Christ!” Roxy shouts.

“Fuck.” Jade mutters, trying to shake it off, the ship trembling.

The other two creatures jump onto the main deck of the cargo lift.

“Stay here.” Rose tells Kanaya, who nods in understanding. She opens the cargo lift cabin door, attaching a harness and metal line to a pulley on the outside wall. She raises her gun and starts shooting. The second one dodges, but the first gets hit several times and tumbles off into darkness. As the cargo lift tips backwards, courtesy of Jade, the creature on the windshield flies off, skidding along the surface, and sliding along the side, hooking onto one of the metal bars. The other one does the same along the back, and Rose gets closer and closer to it as her line extends. Roxy tips the lift to the side, pulping the creature on the side of the ship against a building.

“That’s two!” she crows. Rose raises her gun and pulls the trigger as the third one gets closer.

_ Click. _

“Oh fuck.” she mutters as the ship evens out and the thing clambers towards her. Then a dark shape leaps out of the rain, bites into the creature, and rips its head off, dropping the corpse, which slides off into the muddy ground below. The attacker turns to Rose. The xenomorph.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Rose mutters.

“Rose!” Kanaya calls, and tosses Dave’s gun to her, which she catches.

“Let’s dance.” she says, and the creature hisses.

She starts firing as the cargo lift swings around the alien city. The xenomorph skids on the slippery metal, and Rose keeps shooting at it, scoring a couple of minor hits. It leaps at her and she has to jump off the side of the lift and be narrowly saved by the harness to avoid being shredded as well as slipping and cracking her skull open. It falls as well, but grabs onto the underside of the ship effortlessly. Rose swings around in the open air, firing shots at it. It screams and the storm echoes its cries with a growl of thunder. Rose clambers back onto the main deck of the cargo lift, and the thing struggles after her. It gets to its feet and, using the slip forwards to its advantage, leaps at Rose, howling. Then the crane arm on the back of the cargo lift slams into the thing mid-jump and sends it sliding across the metal. The lift is unbalanced, and Rose is dangling once more, the xenomorph gripping a metal bar for support, hissing.

“Good job, you just unbalanced us!” Jade says.

“Excuse me, I’d rather not lose someone else!” Roxy shouts back, manipulating the crane. The xenomorph swings back around to the cabin of the lift and starts slamming its face against the dense glass. It cracks.

“Holy shit!” Jade shouts, and then shakes the ship as to drop the creature into the grasp of the crane, close beside Rose. Roxy presses a control, and the crane claw crushes the creature, spraying acid blood everywhere. The crane opens and drops it to the planet below, where the white creatures swarm the corpse and begin feasting on what they can. The crane closes again, and locks up on top of the cargo lift. Kanaya risks stepping out on top of the deck to help wheel in Rose’s harness and help her wife inside.

“Alright, let’s get the hell off of hellmurder: the planet.” Roxy says, and flies the lift up into the storm and back to the  _ Daedalus. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it! Well, a few of us did. None of the security team made it, and we lost John, Dirk, Jake, Davebot, Alt-Calliope, Aradia, Karkat, and Calliope. Shame.


	9. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew of the Daedalus arrives back at their ship and decides to rest and recuperate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it. Ish. Prepare for feels.

Rose, Dave, Jade, Roxy, Kanaya, and Terezi walk back into the  _ Daedalus _ , the last survivors of SBURB’s numbers now nearly halved. They help Dave into the medbay to let the thing that Osborne stuck in Dave’s cheek finish its reconstructive work as well as let him sleep.

“Do you all feel that?” Rose asks. “Or is it just me?”

“I feel that.” Jade says. “I feel like I’ve just lost my god tier status. I feel… mortal.”

“Same thing here.” Roxy says.

“That’s probably how John got Jake.” Terezi adds. There’s a pause before she speaks again. “I’m going to go get some rest.” she walks off.

“I think we could all use some rest.” Rose says after a period of silence. Jade, Roxy, and Kanaya and Rose retire to their respective quarters without any other words.

Terezi flops down on one of the beds in the empty quarters and stares up at the ceiling. She doesn’t sleep, her mind just drifts. So many things go through her head. The losses she’s suffered echo through her mind. Now she has nobody. She doesn’t know what to do now. So she takes out John’s Dad’s wallet and cradles it against her chest.

Outside the window, space passes by indifferently as the ship heads back to Earth C.

Roxy heads to his and Calliope’s quarters, and takes out their things. Their clothes, objects they liked, photographs of their times together. So long yet so short. Then he reaches into a small box and examines the ring within. He rolls it in his hands for what feels like hours before he finally breaks down, splitting the silence with sobs. He keeps crying as he packs away Calliope’s things, and then collapses onto the empty bed, arms reaching out for a form that isn’t there. Eventually, he falls asleep.

Jade’s had her fill of sleep. She isn’t entirely sure what to say at this point about the loss of so many people, so many friends. She’s been replaced with a cold emptiness inside, a hollow shell of who she once was. She doesn’t even know how to feel right now. So she sits down on the bridge and watches space fly by.

The first thing that Rose and Kanaya do is head back to the latter’s quarters and stay there. They lie in bed, side by side, hands clasped tightly. Dirty, sweaty, bloody, but calm and serene nonetheless. Rose is caressing Kanaya’s face.

“I missed you.” Kanaya whispers.

“I missed you too.” Rose responds. They stay silent for a while, just staring into each other’s eyes. “We could probably use a shower.” Rose finally says, smiling.

Kanaya nods, also smiling. “Yes, we’re covered in grime.”

In the medbay, Dave feels the pain in his chest. Blindly reaches for the syringe on the table as he falls. Stabs the chestburster, but it's not enough. As the creature crawls away and into the ship, Dave’s mind forms one last thought;  _ Karkat, if there’s a Heaven, I’m on my way. _

“All officers, please report to the medbay.” HAL’s calm voice says.

Roxy opens his eyes. “HAL, what’s the issue?” he asks.

“There is an unidentified life form on board.” Roxy takes this in, and everything in him tenses up.

“Oh god.” he whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose - Happy  
> Kanaya - Happy  
> Roxy - Heartbroken  
> Terezi - Alone  
> Jade - Purposeless  
> Dave - Dead
> 
> Sorry not sorry


	10. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy, Jade, Terezi, and the Ship's AI/HAL 2.0 hunt a xenomorph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALIEN: COVENANT DUPLICATION IN PROGRESS

Jade passes one of the AR-15’s in the armoury to Roxy as he runs by, and then grabs one herself and they both sprint to the medbay. Dave is lying dead on the ground in a puddle of his own blood, his face twisted in pain

“Oh god.” Jade whispers, her eyes welling up.

“HAL? Where is it?” Roxy asks.

“It is on Deck B, in the third section of the ship.” Roxy and Jade watch the tracked location on one of the monitors.

“It’s in the quarters.” Jade mutters as they watch the dot indicating the lifesign head towards two more dots.

“Rose.” Roxy says, and turns to Jade, panic in both their eyes. They sprint towards the xenomorph’s location.

Rose and Kanaya’s hands remain clasped, their heads leaned together, Kanaya leaned against the glass wall of the showers. HAL’s voice is muffled under the sound of the running water.

“I love you.” Rose whispers.

“I love you too.” Kanaya whispers back. Their lips lock. Their hands wander across each other’s backs. Rose’s eyes drift downwards when she sees the black shape below. She flinches back and gives a small yelp as the barbed and bony tail of the xenomorph retracts under the glass wall. On the other side, the thing hisses, rearing forwards into the light, seeing no reason to hide anymore. She looks back up at Kanaya, the thing’s head visible over her shoulder.

“Oh god…” Rose whispers.

“Run.” Kanaya says, eyes locked for the last time.

“NO!” Rose shouts, reaching up to try and grab her wife, pull her away-

The thing’s second jaw stabs through the glass and puts a hole in Kanaya’s head, sticking out of her mouth.

“NO!” Rose screams in anguish as she’s sprayed with green blood. The jaw retracts, and Kanaya’s corpse slides to the floor.

“No, no, no….” Rose says, her voice barely audible, tears streaming from her eyes being lost in the falling water. The xenomorph hisses and steps through the glass wall as if it isn’t even there. She doesn’t scream, she doesn’t fight, because she knows that chances are she’ll end up dead or dying anyway. And with Kanaya gone after seperation for a year, she fails to see the point of going on. The thing gives a small scream and it's second jaw strikes forwards and punctures her skull, killing her instantly.

Roxy and Jade run over to the quarters and slow down when they reach the showers. Jade stops when she sees the blood, as she knows what she’ll find, and she decides not to look at the corpses of two of her greatest friends. Roxy, however, steps inside and sinks to his knees and cries into his hand for a moment. Terezi’s voice suddenly crackles over the intercom.

“I know this isn’t the best time, but I’m on the bridge and tracking it.”

“Where is it?” Roxy hisses.

“Look to your right.”

Roxy looks to his right and sees the opened second door into the room, bloody clawed footprints leading away, alternating on prominent colour. Green. Red. Green. Red. Roxy gestures to Jade, who follows him. They walk down the metal hall, following the blood.

“It’s heading onto Deck C.” Terezi’s voice says.

“HAL?” Jade asks.

“Yes, Officer Harley?” HAL asks.

“Close all the doors behind us, we’re going to herd this fucker into the hangar.”

“Understood. Closing all doors to move unidentified life form to Hangar 3.” a series of metal clangs echo through the military ship. “I presume you plan to use the ground transports to your advantage.” HAL says.

“Yes.” is all Roxy says.

Jade and Roxy, dressed in spacesuits, prepare to open the door to Hangar 3.

“Alright, Terezi, let it in.” there’s a clunk, and a dark shape moves into the other end of the Hangar. Roxy turns to Jade. “Ready?” he asks. Jade nods. “Terezi, open our door to Hangar 3.”

A clunk, and the door slides open, leading into the large dark room. Jade and Roxy slowly break apart, heading in different directions around the large metal military vehicles. The xenomorph lurks in the dark, mystified by one of the two trucks.

“Remember not to shoot it.” Roxy says.

“Yes, I know, acid blood.” Jade responds.

“I’m going to bait it.” Roxy says.

“What-?” Jade starts to ask, but is cut off when Roxy starts hitting his gun against a metal rail, the silence breaking as the sound echoes. The xenomorph screams and charges, but Roxy jumps out of the way and climbs into one of the trucks, both of its doors open. As it follows, he closes both doors as soon as he exits. It screams in anger and rams its head against the glass window.

“Terezi, open the fucking hangar doors!” Roxy shouts.

“You heard her HAL.” Terezi says.

“Opening Hangar 3 Doors.” HAL says. “Warning. Decompression.” HAL begins repeating, before his voice fades out as the door opens and the air and sound are replaced with vacuum and silence.

“Jade, cut the truck loose!” Roxy shouts, and hits some controls, causing the first truck, the one containing the xenomorph, to slide on its chains and roll towards the open hangar door. Then, it jams.

“Fuck!” Jade shouts.

“Uh oh.” Terezi mutters. The xenomorph keeps slamming its head against the glass until it breaks it, and tears loose out of the truck, climbing onto the top and screeching.

“Release the second one!” Roxy shouts. Jade starts shooting the restraints on the second truck in the line loose and it begins rolling towards the first, breaking its jammed chain. The first one goes over the edge of the hangar and drops into space, falling to the planet below. Roxy is still in the way of the second and watches in horror as the xenomorph leaps off of the first truck, and lands on the hangar floor. Behind Roxy, the truck rolls closer. It has thick spikes on the front. The xenomorph prepares to leap. The truck is feet from her when the creature leaps and Roxy slides underneath it, where it slams into the spikes and gets impaled. The second truck falls out of the hangar and towards Deltritus. Silence falls across the comms.

“Where’d he go?” Jade asks.

“Terezi, can you see him?” Silence.

“Hold on.” a pause. “Yes.”

Roxy’s head pops up as he hangs onto the edge of the hangar. Jade pauses, then gives a little laugh. Roxy laughs with her. Terezi sighs. They’re all thinking the same thing.

_ We fucking made it. _

Jade finishes going into cryosleep. As Roxy starts to head in, he turns to Terezi. “Are you going to sleep? Might as well.”

Terezi pauses, shakes her head. “I just need some time to think.” Roxy nods, and goes quiet as the systems make her sleep. Terezi waits for a full minute, and then smiles.

“HAL?”

“Yes, Officer Pyrope?”

“Requesting voice change.”

“Voice change confirmed. What would you prefer?”

“MU/TH/UR,  _ Covenant _ .” Terezi snaps her fingers, and HAL pauses.

“Confirmed.” MU/TH/UR says. The thing that was once Terezi raises its arms and begins restructuring the ship into a colony ship, each cryopod carrying a xenomorph host.

“Requesting music.”

“Selection?” MU/TH/UR asks.

Terezi pauses, looks back at the cryosleep pods. “Richard Wagner. Das Rheingold. The Entry of the Gods into Valhalla.”

“Confirmed.” The music starts to play, and the thing that was once Terezi smiles, the course for its next target set.

Inside its head, John screams, Terezi screams, and something else screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shame Rose and Kanaya had to die.  
> And I guess the enemy won.  
> Oh well.


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shade's hunters arrive, and we get a glimpse elsewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just the beginning.

Four figures pop into existence on the planet that was once Deltritus. It’s dark and raining.

“No signs of life detected.” Hradra says. “There are many deaths to make up for this.”

They wander through the grasses and find an exploded shuttle.

“This belonged to _Daedalus_.” Hami says, walking to it. “This world’s version of it.”

“I see death in this field.” Hart says. “Calliope, Karen Wierzbowski, Jonathan Willis, Alexander Watts, and Karkat Vantas.”

Hulliol turns and walks from the shuttle, stopping at the fields and Karkat’s body. “That is two relevant deaths. The others are pawns. They never existed before this year.”

“Come.” Hradra says, and they all go to the city. Inside the central complex, there is more death.

“Dirk Strider is in that room below.” Hart says, pointing beyond a stairwell leading downwards.

“Janice Luna is here.” Hradra says when they reach the room with the bloody pool.

“There are more.” Hami says, and leads the others along.

“Many in this room.” Hulliol comments when they find the corpses on slabs.

“In this lab,” Hart says, “Aradia Megido, Ultimate Self Dave Strider, Cherubic Jade Harley, Joshua Carter, and Callum Osborne.”

“Beyond, Jake English.” Hulliol adds, pointing to the room with the eggs.

“I cannot see the rest.” Hami says in a slightly confused manner.

“They are above, Hami.” Hradra says, and looks skyward against the ceiling. “Dave Strider, Kanaya Maryam, and Rose Lalonde.”

“And the other two are…” Hart says, and pauses. “Surely not.”

“Indeed. They are the two Survivors of the Universe “Five” Incident.” Hradra says.

“Which makes this the Universe “Five” Incident.” Hami says.

“Intriguing.” Hulliol says in a dull voice.

“Where to next?” Hami asks.

“We shall follow Shade.” Hradra says. “I am tracking him already.”

“We may not be able to cut him off, and his ship will inevitably reach Universe “Four”.” Hart says in a rather deadpan and resigned manner.

“But he shows no sign of reaching Universe “Four”. Therefore, there is a high chance we will cut him off before he reaches his target.” Hulliol points out.

“Then we shall go.” Hradra says. “We shall let the Foundation dispose of this planet.”

Without another word, the four cyborgs disappear from reality, flickering through the void tracking the reshaped _Daedalus_ as it travels through a rift, one step closer to Universe “Four”.

**2101, Universe “Four”**

Elsewhere, a man sits at a desk in a quiet office. It’s John, or rather, a version of him. He’s busy typing up a file. “What are you doing?” Jane asks, walking inside.

“There, finished.” he mutters. John stands up. “I’m telling the story for the man himself. Kid’s definitely been reprogrammed.”

“Yeesh.” Jane says.

“You doing all right?” John asks. “Blood cleared?”

“Yep.” Jane responds. “I’m… I’ll live.”

“Good.” John says. He gets up and heads for the door. “I’m going to see how our cleanup operations are. David!”

A blonde man in military uniform walks down the hall, which is bloody. “Yes sir?” he asks.

“You’ve got Class-5 Reality Clearance, yes?” John asks.

“Well, I’ve got Class-4.” David responds.

“Well, you’re temporarily promoted.” John tells him, and his face lights up a little. “I need you to document the goings on in Universes “Four” and “Five”.” David nods.

“Yes sir.” he says.

“If those two wanted to get his attention, they’ve at least got ours.” John mutters. “Time will tell whether he pisses off his father.” He walks out the door, and Jane trails out behind him. David beams as he sits down at the desk and looks at the computer. Images dance across the screen. He watches them in order, then opens a new document. ‘Defyers’, he calls it. He watches the events again, then dramatizes them.

~~The Inevitable End of All But Me~~

~~XX-Beta-12~~

~~The Solomon Project~~

~~Act I: Ascendance~~

Act II: Defyers

Act III: Protectors

Act IV: Controllers

Intermission: Zero Day

Act V Act I: Shade

Act V Act II: Shatter

> Fiction to Reality

Golf-213

Dimensional Drabbles

Endstück

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've already seen 1) This entity, Shade's test run of sorts.  
> By the end of this seven-part arc, we will get  
> 2) A conclusion of sorts to the feud between the 16 XX-Beta-12 gods and everybody (including each other)  
> 3) We'll find out where the 41 god-muses ended up  
> 4) We'll get the answers about the teasers I've had at the end of TIEOABM and Ascendance as well as learn more about what Shade is and universal programs  
> 5) See where Shade is going  
> 6) See what the overarching grand plan is  
> 7) See how all this ends...

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is a list. The second chapter is a series of interviews. It will be weird. This I swear.


End file.
